


after every party i die

by vanillu_script



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Aftercare, Awkward Sexual Situations, Gentle Sex, Hypersexualistic thoughts, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Trans Male Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, domestic au (kind of), so its probably a little messy and specific, this was a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:16:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillu_script/pseuds/vanillu_script
Summary: After Kai drags the group out to a house party and Jay finds himself getting a little too involved with Cole, the two do their best to talk things out. And then they get more involved.





	after every party i die

**Author's Note:**

> vent fic. im a non-transitioned guy so im writing what i work with, please take care if stuff like that triggers dysphoria. probably ooc.

Jay leans back against the headboard, slightly on edge. It's rare for his roommates to leave him alone for extended periods of time, and he doubts that today is an exception, despite the lull in energy.

He sighs, recent warm weather besting him. He shifts his legs open a little wider next to the fan, the movement of his thighs causing the legs of his boxers and his shirt to ride up. His stomach churns as he looks down at himself.

“Great.” He mumbles, rubbing the back of his hand against his forehead as a presentation of shame.

_Don't, don't,_ is what he thinks as he rides his shirt up a little farther, although he soon finds himself bargaining in his mind.  _Maybe it'll help distract from the heat._ He shakes his head.  _That doesn't make any sense . . . help with the depression, maybe?_ He cringes. His thoughts are awful and at this point he wishes that one of the other  guys  was here to just bother him. Playing video games with Cole sounds great right about now, but fuck if he'll initiate it.  _Should just get this over with anyways. Lord knows no one else wants to touch me, so may as well soak it up with myself._

A hand slowly sneaks down past the elastic of his boxers, although he quickly yanks it back as the door opens suddenly.

“Hey – oh.” Kai pauses, averting his eyes from the sight of Jay with so much skin showing. He huffs a laugh and tries to joke away his tension. “Jay, you slut.”

Jay glares for a moment, but laughs as well as he sits up, straightening out his clothing.  _You don't even know._ Jay cringes.

“So uh, we're going out tonight. You coming?”

“Where?”

“Party  at a friend's place.”

“Which friend?” Jay's eyes narrow.

“Do you really care? Snacks, music, and lots of people wearing crop tops. C'mon.”

Something clicks in Jay, a feeling somewhat akin to the slow and steady beginning of an adrenaline rush.

“Hah. Yeah, alright.”

“Cool, get ready, Skylor's picking us up in twenty.” Kai motions a finger-gun, before stepping back out of the doorway and shutting it. Jay sighs, before jumping up off of the bed.

 

He stares at himself in the bathroom mirror. Subtle dark circles under his eyes, subtype one rosacea across his cheeks, some scattered freckles . . .

He reaches for the top drawer of the sink-side cabinet, staring down into the odd, somewhat messy assortment of items. After a moment of consideration, he pulls out two concealers and a pressed powder. Looking back to his reflection, he begins to work on a yellow concealer under his eyes. He begins to think as he does this, although this time in the form of imagining a scene. He pictures himself in the middle of a dark-lit party, surrounded by people, being stared at by men from all around the room, their eyes attracted to the blatant cosmetics on his face. 

It's a kind of unintentional thought he has every time he goes out at night, the simple idea of attention from other men. Good or bad attention, he's never sure. He blends out the concealer and waits a moment before reaching over for a different product.

By the time he's done, he looks awake, nothing affronting, just enough for that odd sense of adrenaline in his gut to settle slightly.  Th e subtlety doesn't stop Lloyd from joking about it when he walks out into the living room.

“No lipstick this time?”

“Mm, haha.” Jay sarcastically hums, quickly following it up with a harsh snap of “Watch your tone.”

“Where are you guys going, anyways? Can I come?” Lloyd quickly changes the subject.

 

“No. And, now, remind me, do I have to call a last-minute babysitter for you?” Kai butts in.

“Quit it.” Lloyd huffs, folding his arms across his chest.

“Genuine question, Lloyd.”

“Ugh, no . . . you don't.” Lloyd groans, as Kai absentmindedly begins to search around the room for his house keys.

“You know my phone number?”

“Yes.”

“And Zane's phone number if I don't pick up?”

“ _Yes._ ”

“And you know where the macaroni is? I think there's -”

“ _ Yes, _ Kai. I know. I'm here at least two days every week. Please stop.”

“Cool, you got it.”

 

Just as the bickering quiets, a car horn sounds from the driveway. Kai instantly perks up. “Guys, Skylor's here!” he calls, and Jay watches as Cole and Zane shuffle out into the living room. “You guys are ready, right?”

“Wow, so it's not just me you're nagging now, huh?” Lloyd jabs. Kai ignores him, instead grabbing his hoodie and heading for the door.

“Later, lil buddy.” Cole calls back, walking out the door as Kai so kindly holds it open for him. Jay follows behind quickly, keeping quiet for once.

 

The car is packed tightly, with Jay, Cole, and Zane squished into the backseat while Kai gets front-seat privileges. The back is quiet, the car lit up by the sound of Kai talking Skylor's ear off. Interestingly, she seems to actually be listening. Jay glances either side of him, noting that Cole is checking his phone and Zane is staring straight ahead, perhaps listening in on Kai's chatter, or zoning out. Jay fidgets, and accidentally rubs up against each of their arms. The warmth of each of them is something to be revelled in, and he attempts to resist the urge to lay against one of them. He fails, eventually leaning his head on Zane's shoulder. Zane glances at him for a moment, smiling kindly as always, before looking back ahead of him. Now in the combined comfort of Zane's warmth, the jumbled speech in the front seat, the dull scent of the car air freshener combined with the acrid smell of Skylor's cigarette, Jay feels out of place. Or, perhaps, in place but too perceptive. Once again, it's another feeling he can't properly describe, maybe only relative to the vibe of a post-concert drive. He bounces his leg feverishly, humming whatever songs come to mind for the rest of the ride.

 

The house holding the party is fairly large, wide and two stories. Jay grins as he watches the lights flashing inside, moving quickly to follow behind the group. Zane sticks to his side, not wanting to get split up from him.

Once inside, they're affronted with a range of sensations. The drone and vibration of loud music, the buzz of people trying their best to talk over the music, the darkness of the living room lit only by an assortment of dull multi-coloured lights, the smell of tobacco intertwined with that of a sweeter, thicker, cherry-scented smoke. Jay inhales deeply and looks around, noting that Skylor's already dragged Kai towards the kitchen. He'll catch them later, he supposes. He spins around, expecting to see Cole beside him, only to find that he's ditched as well. Great.

Zane and Jay linger for a moment, before Cole suddenly returns, two red cups in hand, plus one oddly held by the rim between his bared teeth. He shoves the cups into their hands before taking to hold his own. Zane looks down at the cup for a long moment before leaning over to set it onto the floor, and Jay pretends he didn't see.

 

There's a good hour between this exchange and the now. Jay's had one drink, Cole's had two. Jay's managed to get Cole to sit with him on the somewhat crowded couch at the far right of the living room, laughing obnoxiously at jokes exchanged as he strokes Cole's arm. He's confident, tired, and ready to bring someone closer. He can feel the music vibrating in his gut.

Cole's talking about something – that one story with the mechanical bull, he's sure – as Jay tries to find the right time to interrupt. His eyes flutter low as he admires Cole, and Cole certainly notices the body language. It causes a lull in the story, which Jay is thankful for as he leans forward to kiss him.

It's nothing much at first, although Jay feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him. Quickly, and casually, Cole reaches his other arm forward, roughly tangling a hand in Jay's hair as he begins to kiss back. They break for a moment, but waste no time in engaging in an open-mouthed kiss, uncoordinated and intense. Suddenly, the music feels quieter to Jay.

He isn't sure how much time has passed before Cole is pulling him into his lap. The party doesn't notice, or they don't care. Nothing stops for them and for some reason the wild disregard just makes Jay more excited. He straddles Cole, leaning over a bit to kiss him as he gets comfortable, before sitting back up as he begins to grind. For a moment, Jay forgets everything, closing his eyes and leaning back slightly as he grinds down against Cole. He savours the sensation of the contact, as well as the tightening grip Cole has on his hips – until the latter suddenly disappears. Jay's eyes flutter open, and for a second, he simply stares up at the lights bouncing off the ceiling. Shakily, he looks back down at his partner, and is disheartened to find a confused look.

Jay, himself, is confused for a moment, unsure of the problem, until he glances down at himself. Right. He forgot. The absence of a bulge must be obvious by this point in contact.

He forgot.

 

Jay shivers, avoiding Cole's stare as he tries to get his breathing in order. A feeling of disgust burns in his stomach as he realizes just how tightly the fabric of his pants is clinging to his genitals, his hand quickly moving to tug at article of clothing. He keeps a straight face despite the mild sense of grief, and begins to untangle himself from Cole's lap. He manages to stutter an almost passive aggressive “S-sorry” before walking off.

Cole sits dazed, trying to process the odd revelation that had just taken place, before someone – he recognizes the face but not the name – shoves a beer into one of his hands and pulls him away from the couch by the other. Cole hesitates, but after a moment decides to follow them out into the crowd. Between the alcohol, the music, and the way he himself is yelling hype, he manages to snap out of it.

 

 

Jay makes his way upstairs on shaky legs, nearly falling over twice. He's slumped over and tired, the energy he had felt moments before now completely drained as he slips into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. For the second time tonight, he takes a moment to simply stare at himself in the mirror. His face is red, though he isn't sure if he's just sweat off the concealer or if he's blushing through it. He watches his own eyes start to water as he shakily reaches to undo his pants, shoving them down. He winces at the wet sensation along his legs that this brings, and a tear rolls down his cheek. Once again, he pauses, before moving to sit atop the toilet seat. He grabs for toilet paper and leans back against the tank, slowly cleaning up his legs. He makes his way up his thighs, taking a deep breath before finally cleaning up his own arousal. His clit twitches in response, and a pang of disgust shoots through him.

 _Why the fuck would I have picked someone I know?_ He sighs. _A stranger's attention would have been just as good._

 

There's a pause, before he laughs to himself.

 

He redresses and washes before exiting the washroom to go find someone else to bother. The rest of the party runs surprisingly smoothly, although the faint air of shame is consistent in his mind.

 

On the ride back, they sit in the same order. Jay can't find it in himself to care that he's making contact with Cole again, and they don't speak. He finds comfort in leaning his head against Zane again, listening to the very faint whirrs and occasional clicks. Jay knows he doesn't always make noise this loud. Tonight must have been a lot for him too. Overstimulating, likely. No matter the cause, the sounds and increased warmth Zane's producing induce comfort in Jay. He almost falls asleep in the car, smiling softly as he listens.

 

He shuffles into the house, Zane leading him by the hand so as to make sure he doesn't trip. Cole and Kai manage by themselves just fine.

The lights in the house are dimmed, the only light being the TV and one of the lamps in the living room. Nya snaps her attention to the group piling into the house, glancing between them and the clock. Despite knowing she's about to give one or all of them a talk about being reckless, he tiredly smiles at her, her face blurred in his vision through his lowered eyelashes. He thinks she smiles back briefly. He doesn't stay to engage with anyone past that, slowly making his way to his room.

It's quiet there, so quiet it almost seems wrong by comparison. He takes a deep breath as the post-party depression sits in, but quickly finds himself smiling dumbly as he recalls a few of the good things from the party. He idles in the middle of his room for a moment before walking over to his bed and falling against it. Two minutes of nothing pass before he fumbles with his jeans, weakly pushing them off. For the second time tonight, he attempts to slide a hand past the waistband of his underwear. He finds himself soaking wet for seemingly no reason at all, and wastes no time in plunging two fingers into his own wet heat. A small whine escapes his throat as the pads of his fingers swivel along his g-spot, and he melts against his pillow.

There's a knock at his door.

 

He retracts his hand in panic, cringing as he grabs a fistful of the blanket to hide his shame. “Yeah?” he calls out in faux confidence. His heart is pounding.

“Can I come in?” sounds Cole's voice from the other side of the door, somewhat hushed, likely in an attempt to not wake Lloyd. Jay huffs.

“Uh-huh.” he calls passively. The moment becomes real when the door opens and Cole enters the room. Jay notes the way Cole properly closes the door behind him.

“Can we talk?” Cole asks, and Jay absentmindedly hums in response. He does his best not to make eye contact, instead staring ahead at the blue lava lamp sat across the room. The way it illuminates the room is extremely atmospheric, like the lighting of an uncomfortable Neon Demon scene.

“I uh . . .” Cole hesitates, somewhat unsure of how to continue. He fidgets a bit, something rather uncharacteristic of him. “about earlier,”

“I said sorry.” Jay cuts in, his tone defensive.

“I don't think you should need to.” Cole responds without missing a beat. They each go quiet for a moment.

 

“I just shouldn't have made advances, it's fine, we can forget this ever happened.”

“Jay, I'm really sorry I responded that way. I hadn't meant to look so fuckin dumb, and . . . I should have just tried to talk to you about it,” he pauses. “but I didn't. I just grabbed a drink and let you walk off, and that was pretty negligent no matter what.”

 

Jay sits up and turns to face Cole. “I should have told you beforehand.”

“It probably wasn't any of my business until just then.”

Jay wants to dispute, but he's right. It wasn't. He sputters in frustration for a moment before relaxing.

“Either wuh-ww-way,” Jay struggles to get his words out, the stress of the situation sparking for a moment. “we should probably forget it happened. We were drinking, and-and, I'm not your type, I don't think,”

“If you weren't my type I wouldn't have-”

“Why do you keep dismissing my points?” Jay snaps. Cole pauses.

“I'm sorry. If you want to forget this happened, then that's okay, but you should know that I wasn't drunk and I'm still not. You're an annoying twerp but you're my best friend, and frankly I would be lying If I said I hadn't thought about getting closer like that with you. That's not something that's changed, but if you don't want me to interact with you that way then I won't.”

“Y-yyou're a gay guy, and I, I'm, I don't think I qualify for that kind of attraction.” Jay takes a deep breath. This doesn't feel like it's really happening.

“No offence, but you, Jay Walker, are a full-fledged twink.”

“Hey!”

 

It starts off quiet, but the two soon find themselves giggling, each trying to keep hush but failing.

 

“Like I said, though,” Cole starts talking again once they've both calmed down. “if you want me to drop it, I can. Just know that what happened earlier doesn't change anything, personally. You're my best fuckin' bro.”

And like that, Jay is smiling dumbly. He can feel himself blushing, and he finds himself somewhat glad for the blue ambient lighting. He panics when Cole moves to open the door.

“Hey, hey,” Jay sputters, voice shaky. He's trying his best not to yell, for once. He thinks it's about two AM, but there's no clock in his room. Watches are for the weak. He's sure checking his phone would be both somewhat unsanitary and also very rude. Cole retracts his hand and steps away from the door. “Please, j-just . . .” Jay trails off, hands grabbing at fistfuls of the sheets either side of him. Cole looks at him inquisitively. “Get the fuck over here.”

It's awkward, as Cole seems unable to comprehend the situation, though he steps forward in a calm manner either way. Jay takes a deep breath, reaching forward and placing his hands at Cole's sides once he's close enough, gently pulling him down. Cole quickly adjusts, lowering himself against Jay at the edge of the bed.

Jay shuffles back to make more room for Cole, until they're situated into a somewhat awkward missionary position. Jay whimpers as Cole presses his hips down, grinding gently as he leans forward to kiss at Jay's neck.

“Are you okay?” Cole mumbles, somewhat nervous. Generally he's confident and in charge in bed, but he feels as though now's not the time. Jay responds by placing his hands at Cole's jaw, bringing up up to level to kiss him, gently at first. They break apart, staring at each other for a moment. He's certainly a lot sweeter than Jay was expecting.

It's sudden when Cole moves back, getting to his knees at the edge of the bed. Jay squeaks when Cole pulls him closer by the hips, not expecting the sudden transition. Cole slows as his hands trail gently across his thighs, looking up to Jay for approval when he finally comes to hook his fingers into the waistband of his boxers. Jay lets out a shaky breath before nodding.

No matter how comfortable he is with his partners, the feeling of his partner tugging his underwear off his legs is the fucking worst. His stomach churns with anxiety as Cole spreads his legs, and he cringes as he feels his own arousal trickle down his sex. He presses the palm of his hand against the side of his face, perhaps in shame.

Cole smooths a hand over Jay's tummy, trailing down until he rests as the prominent bump of one of his hip-bones. As his hand idles, he starts to feel the subtle pearly waves of stretch marks under his fingertips. He glances off to the side.

“I, I've never really,” Cole doesn't think he can get the words out. He attempts to avoid the lull in action by trailing his hand down further, gently stroking his thumb against Jay's outer lips. Jay shudders, and once again thinks maybe this wasn't the best idea.

Cole notices Jay tense, and shakes away his doubt. Biting his lip in excitement, he turns his attention back to Jay. Gently, curiously, he strokes his thumb over Jay's sex, starting over the curve of his clit, and slowing when he comes to his entrance. He teasingly rubs against it before bringing his thumb back, breath becoming shaky as a string of Jay's slick connects between them.

“Wow.” the word slips out in genuine awe, before he can even think about it. Jay whimpers in embarrassment.

 

Cole continues, moving to stroke circles against Jay's entrance with both his ring and middle finger. “Is this okay?” he asks, voice low. He teases, pressing the tips of his fingers against the warmth of his opening.

“Y-ye-es,” Jay responds, voice higher than usual, and the word broken. Cole presses the length of his middle finger inside, Jay's slick accommodating him perfectly. Jay whines, the sound imperfect and genuine and almost- almost typical of him. Cole draws his hand back slightly, moving slow.

It's not a lot, but the thickness of Cole's finger has Jay twitching slightly, low groans escaping his throat with each movement. He sighs gently as Cole retracts his hand for a moment, teasing another finger as his other hand soothingly strokes his thigh. Jay can't say he expected this kind of gentleness from Cole, and wonders if he should be expecting the same kind of treatment next time. He glances off to the side, somewhat ashamed for considering a next time. _I'd be lucky to even have Cole look at me after this._

Broken out of his thoughts, his eyes snap shut as Cole begins to gently fuck him with two fingers now. His head cranes back as small shocks of pleasure run down his legs and up through his gut, his hair becoming a tangled mess against the sheets. He can feel Cole's eyes on him as he whines and moans, and the sensation fuels butterflies in his stomach. “Mmnn,” his hands fist at the sheets. “fuh-fuck, Cole,” the name feels like poison on his tongue in this context, but he quickly dismisses it as Cole responds by pressing deeper, the pads of his fingers pressing up against his g-spot. Jay lets out a weak cry, his back arching shakily up off of the bed. Cole keeps a somewhat slow pace, watching his partner in awe.

Cole delicately withdraws his hand, moving up to feverishly press kisses against Jay's exposed stomach. His hands grip at Jay's hips, his thumbs pressing down hard and rolling circles over the round protrusion of the bone. Beneath him, Jay squirms excitedly.

“God, I wanna fuck you so badly.” Cole mumbles, thumbs pressing down harder against Jay's hips.

An odd smile sneaks across Jay's face, his body shivering in response to the statement. He lets out a shaky breath, before moving to sit up, pushing Cole back by the shoulders until he's back down on his knees. He savours the sight of him kneeling before him for a second, before leaning to the side to reach for the drawer. Without even looking, he manages to pull out a fair-sized bottle of lube and, after some time, a condom.

Cole resists the urge to ask why Jay seemingly has so many supplies at his disposal. Even though the matter goes unspoken, Jay feels odd about it too. He sets the items down on the bed absentmindedly as he brings his legs up, moving back further, beckoning Cole forward with a look of longing. Cole stands up, leaning slightly, though before he can even attempt to join Jay on the bed, nervous hands are reaching for his belt. Jay's anxiety seems to be getting the better of him, his hands seemingly too shaky to get a proper grip of the leather. Cole reaches to assist, their eyes meeting as Jay stares up at him.

Cole towering over him, a confident smile tugging at his lips as he tugs off his own belt, face lit only by a distant blue aura is a sight to fucking behold. For the first time in a while, Jay relaxes, his expression falling into that of admiration. For a moment he considers that may be too serious – too dedicated for them, maybe, though he quickly finds himself too lost to care.

 

Cole gently hisses as he finally tugs down his pants, briefs going down with them. The somewhat chilled air makes him shiver. He's so hard he can feel himself throbbing, a bead of precum finally free to string down from the head of his cock. There's a lull in energy for a moment as Jay stares, swallowing thickly in anticipation, hand twitching to touch his partner. Cole grins, and gently pushes Jay back before he has time to do anything.

Somewhat awkwardly, they manage to ordain a position, Jay moving back to lay on his side as Cole saddles up behind him. Jay takes the time to rest, even allowing himself to close his eyes and just relax, while Cole busies himself with the condom. The pattern of his breathing is slow and deep, his eyelids heavy. For a moment he doesn't feel cheap or nasty.

He jumps slightly as Cole slides a hand over the curve of his hip, and he raises his head attentively. Looking back over his shoulder, he feels his heart pound in his chest just watching Cole fidget behind him. He strains to lean upward, pressing a kiss to Cole's lips before he finally lays back, shakily raising one of his legs. He shivers as something wet bobs against his ass cheek, though he smirks to himself, thankful that Cole appears to have been liberal with the lubricant. There's more shuffling behind him before Cole settles. A groan escapes from the low of Jay's throat as Cole presses his cock up against the warmth of his cunt, rocking against him slightly. Jay gasps as he feels his eyes begin to water, his body out of ways to express his excitement.

“Are you okay?” Cole asks, voice low. Jay desperately blinks away his tears, and nods. Cole hesitates. “You gotta talk to me, bluejay.”

“I . . .” Jay tries to find the energy to speak. He's not used to being properly asked like this. “I'm good.”

“Do you want to do this?” Cole asks, thumb stroking over Jay's inner thigh as he holds his leg up. Jay nods vigorously, revelling in the warmth of Cole pressed up against his back.

“Please, ple-ease,” Jay begs, his voice cracking. Cole moves to bring his hips back, hand leaving his thigh only for a moment.

 

It's a sharp pain at first, as Cole guides himself into Jay's heat, though it fades somewhat as he slowly rocks into him. Jay finds himself breathless as Cole pushes in further, the head of his cock brushing up against his sweet spot already. He blindly reaches his hand back to place his hand at the base of Cole's jaw.

“You okay baby?”

“More,” Jay says back, almost demanding. Behind him, he hears Cole huff a laugh in response.

He shakily presses in to the hilt, careful not to be too forceful, before drawing back, and pausing. He leans forward and presses a kiss to Jay's freckled shoulder before thrusting into him, drawing a moan from Jay.

“How's that feel, bluejay?” Cole asks, almost teasingly, mostly caring.

“Ffuck, _Cole,_ ” Jay whines, drawing the name out. He feels himself blush harder at the way his voice bounces slightly due to Cole's new-found pace. He arches his back, and only finds himself becoming more flustered at the sound of skin-on-skin.

Panting feverishly, he leans his head back until it meets with Cole's shoulder. Warmth coils in his gut at the intimacy of it. Eyes shut tight and eyebrows almost painfully worried upwards, Jay tries to find his breath.

“I,” He huffs out, cutting himself off with a strained whine as Cole begins to thrust into him with reckless abandon. “mmh, l-luh-love yyou,” he whines, words drawn out awkwardly, perhaps almost ugly. Cole lets out a low groan, tilting his head to bring Jay into a liplock, soaking up each of his high-pitched mewls. He licks across Jay's lower lip, nipping playfully, though Jay finds no patience for this as he pulls Cole closer, hand tangling in his long black hair, crashing them into a tight, open-mouthed kiss. Jay weakly reaches between his own legs to toy with his clit.

Jay comes first, tears rolling down his cheeks as he moans against Cole's mouth, pleasure racking his body, his legs quickly beginning to twitch in response. Cole's thrusts become slower, more rough as he begins to lose it. Hand forcefully gripping Jay's thigh to still him, Cole groans as he comes, pressing deep inside Jay.

 

They lay like that for a few minutes, sweaty and panting, though reluctant to move away from each other. A different kind of whine escapes Jay's lips as Cole pulls out from him. He quickly finds himself curling into a ball to replace the warmth as Cole moves away for a moment, shivering against himself as the cold air hits the slick covering his thighs. His breath wavers with upset as Cole puts his briefs back on and quietly exits for a moment. He knows he's coming back. He knows he's being clingy. Cole returns after a moment and a very small smile of comfort comes to Jay's face.

“Jay?” Cole whispers, and he looks back to him. “You're a mess.” Cole smirks. He approaches with a damp washcloth, and taps at one of Jay's thighs. “May I?”

Jay snorts a laugh, before shakily spreading his legs. This time the action doesn't ignite the same kind of awful dysphoria in his gut, he notes. He watches curiously as Cole runs the cloth along his inner thighs. It's certainly awkward, not something he'd ever experienced, but he's thankful for the notion. Most of the time he passes out sticky and feeling like a toy. He doesn't this time.

Cole goes as far as to put his boxers back on for him. Jay hums contently as Cole's hands smooth up his legs, the familiar fabric following.

“We're gonna be fighting over the shower in the morning, you know.” Cole jokes, guiding Jay back up to the pillows. Jay does his best to get properly comfortable in his bed, somewhat disoriented in his post-sex state. Cole hesitates for a moment, before joining him under the covers. There's silence for a long moment as Cole believes Jay's fallen asleep, before he speaks up.

“Thank you.” he tiredly says, his voice muffled against the pillow.

“For what?” Cole asks, and Jay has to think for a proper answer.

“I'm never this comfortable.”

“With what?”

“. . . Most things. General intimacy, serious conversations, myself, my partner.” Jay finds himself rambling a bit. It's quiet again, before Cole laughs gently. “What?” Jay mumbles, near offended.

“You're my best bro, remember?” Cole says with a smile, before his expression straightens out, becoming somewhat more serious. “And, man?” Jay's eyes flutter open, waiting for him to continue. “Tonight was a real wild ride. I'm glad your night ended on a better note,” Cole pauses when Jay winks at him. “and I just wanted to say that I think you're pretty great.”

“I'll be holding that against you.”

“Feel free to.”

 

“ . . . Do you wanna go to the arcade with me tomorrow?”

“Fuck yeah, bro.”

 


End file.
